Y'all... I screwed up and I need to tell you about it

Transparency is the most important thing for me especially when I wrong

So you probably just got my message about the Root to Rise Family Camp for Braiding Sweetgrass in your emails. I launched it about an hour ago. You will see that the link is dead right now when you try and click on it. There is a reason for that. I screwed up.

A dear friend who is an indigenous activist reached out and explained some things that I already knew to be true. But in my eagerness to share this very sacred text with people of all ages, I lost sight of some things as a white person, whose lineage is not indigenous to this land, as I was creating this program.

I am a teacher and am always considering how to integrate my skills into practice. If I was teaching in a system and receiving a paycheck from that system I would absolutely find a way to bring Braiding Sweetgrass into contemplation and discussion and I would absolutely find a way to involve families in that process if I could. Because I am not inside a system, but rather am free to explore learning with my beloveds and share with others in my community who also believe in life long intergenerational learning, I came up with a plan to offer these courses that integrate my most beloved books and writings. I wanted Braiding Sweetgrass to be the first one… But compensating myself specifically based on the study and teachings of an indigenous woman is appropriation and once it was clarified I realized how blindsided I was being in creating the program in this specific way and charging for it.

I can not receive money from facilitating a learning experience around indigenous practices and ancient wisdom that are not mine when those same people are still being persecuted and often are not able offer these teachings themselves and even if they are and could, it’s just not my place. Although I priced the program with an intention to contribute a portion of the proceeds to Native-led organizations and to offer payment to those who are helping me plan and organize, I would have still profited. And that is not ok. I am working with my friend to understand more clearly how I can integrate sharing these messages in a way that is not appropriating. I am lucky to have a friend who was willing to call me in and who is willing to take the time to teach me after I asked her if she would be willing to do so. I am always learning how to be a better ally in a world that I did not personally make a mess but am responsible for trying to do and be better within.

I will be back with a program that honors the teachers whose wisdom I want to share with you in the most appropriate way that I can as a white woman living on stolen land trying to be the plantain root that Robin Wall Kimmerer tells us about in Braising Sweetgrass, and do as little harm as I can all the while living under capitalism that requires bills to be paid and makes my time a commodity. I’m disappointed in myself that I harmed my friend who had to reach out and waste her energy on calling me in and that breaks my heart because she is constantly threatened on a regular basis for teaching about this kind of harm to countless people who are defensive and reactionary. I hate that I was the one who caused harm this time. Even in our desire to support, we can cause harm unintentionally but it is still harm and the only solution is to be present in it, listen, integrate the understanding, and then go do better. That is my plan.

I will be making a donation to the National Indigenous Women’s Resource Center as reparation for the harm. If you are reading this and wanting to be the best ally in this broken world that you can be, find a Native led organization in your community in which to support or offer reparations. Or donate to the one I am supporting.

I’ll be back in touch soon with information that I learned from my friend who is willing to sit down with me and talk me through all of this in a deeper way. Until then, please be curious, open, try non to judge, and love the fuck out of yourself and everyone around you. We did not embody at this pivotal time to stay stagnant. We are all here to walk along side of one another in our unsettling. Thank you for taking the time to listen and to walk beside me through it all.

Root Down. Rise Up. To the Revolutions. All Definitions Apply.

Cheers!

Sonia